The Invisible Woman

By the time I hit my 40^th week of pregnancy – and then even more so as I continued into my 41^st week – I was more than sick of people talking about how I looked.

I didn’t matter whether someone thought I was huge or pretty good for as far along as I was or glowing or puffy (yes, someone actually called me puffy, and no I’m still not really over it yet), I was just altogether sick of hearing anything regarding how I looked.

Enter the Ladybug.

Since she was born I have been merely a pair of arms carrying the beautiful baby girl or the person pushing the stroller driven by the gorgeous little lady.

Anywhere I go with Miss Olive, friends, family and strangers greet her first. I play second fiddle to a 10-month-old, and I must admit – I love it.

Before we leave the house to go just about anywhere, I like to get the little Ladybug dolled up. Dresses, ruffles, lace, beadazzlings, hair bows, patent leather-looking shoes and more. She’s already cuter than cute, and all her embellishments are really just for the fun of it.

My goal shortly after giving birth was not a lofty one. I just wanted to find time to take a shower every day, which I have succeeded in on all but maybe two occasions (no worries, they were days I gave up and just stayed home). That said, though I have always been clean, I have definitely not always been put together.

The makeup that I never used to leave the house without having fully put on, now often falls by the wayside. My hair is long enough for a ponytail because most days the Ladybug is just not patient enough for this Mommy to take time to fire up the blow dryer.

The fact is, I know wherever I go with the little one I will be glanced at but likely not inspected or even given a close look.

Olive and I took a quick trip to The Mall at Fairfield Commons today, where at least three people had conversations with her without even saying a word to me. I got a quick “Cute baby!” smile as they walked away. It was great. The Ladybug was happy to have the attention, and these other shoppers never even noticed lunch leftover crusted up and down my sleeve – courtesy of Olive.

I appreciate that God made Miss Olive cute enough, and therefore distracting enough, that even on my most tired, rundown, Mommy-Zombie days, I feel confident that no one really notices. As long as I’ve got Blue Eyes by my side, I can remain in the shadows that hide frizzy hair and under-eye circles.

The mommy superpower I’m most thankful for today – the cloak of invisibility.

Miss Olive out shopping today. Seriously, how could anyone look at anything else?

The Time Change is Slowly Killing Me

Oh Spring Forward, how I hate thee.

I realize it’s only an hour. I realize for most people – which used to include me – it’s only a 60 minute change.

I now have a baby, and I no longer see Spring Forward as “no big deal.”

That one little hour has thrown the Ladybug’s sleep schedule into a tailspin. She has barely napped in the past two days, didn’t sleep much last night, and has fought going to sleep the past two nights.

Poor Olive is so confused. And I am exhausted.

I’ve tried moving her typical naptimes bit by bit to get her from her normal time – now an hour later – to the Spring Forward time, but she’s not having it.

Because Olive was going on so little sleep, and because we went to her cousins’ birthday dinner tonight, I thought she’s be beat-up tired tonight. She fell asleep on the drive home. She could barely keep her eyes open while I got her ready for bed. She snuggled up in my arms and seemed like she was about to drift off.

Then, my night owl’s eyes popped wide open, and she started pointing and cooing at the window – just like she does every morning so we can pull the curtain back and look at the light outside.

Though I’m so ready for winter to be over and I know longer days are a sign of that, I found myself damning the extra daylight. “Why can’t it just be dark so she can sleep peacefully?” I thought.

Ugh.

After some coaxing, much rocking and some extra snuggles, Miss Olive has been asleep for a couple hours now.

For her sake and for my sanity, I hope tonight gets a little easier, and tomorrow even easier, and so on.

If not, I’m changing the clocks back, and I’ll be really early everywhere I go. But at least I’ll get some sleep. 

This is what my lovely little one used to look like during naps and nighttime. Oh how I long for more of this in my future. (And yes, she is, in fact doing the Running Man in her sleep.)

With a Wave and a Smile

The hubby and I are polar opposites on a variety of personality traits. He’s laid back; I’m high strung. He’s spontaneous; I’m a planner.

A major commonality though is the way we interact with other people. Something we both noticed about each other early on in our relationship – and something that I think attracted us to each other – is that we are both outgoing and decidedly friendly.

By that, I mean that when walking down the street, we choose to keep our heads up and give at least a smile, if not also a “Hello” when passing by someone – whether we know them or not.

We have never expected that we will be perfect parents. We’ll make mistakes – that’s part of parenting. But, we’ve always said that it’s important to us not that our children necessarily be perfect, but that they be good. Good neighbors. Good students. Good workers. Good friends. Just generally good people.

Miss Olive is a superstar at waving. She doesn’t just wave, she parade/beauty pageant waves. We’re not sure where she learned that, but it’s adorable, so we’re sticking with it.

Whether we’re at the grocery, at the hubby’s office, out to eat, visiting Grandpa’s work, or anywhere else, the ladybug flashes a big smile and waves furiously at every passerby.

A small part of this is simply that Olive loves waving. But a larger part – the part the melts my heart every single time – is that she genuinely enjoys the interaction.

She’s thrilled by anyone who takes the two seconds to smile and wave back. If they give a verbal “Hi,” she’s 100 percent sold and babbles lovingly back.

Alternately, when there’s no response to Olive’s repeated attempts at pleasantries (even after she’s waved so much her arm is about to fall off and still no one has bothered to return the favor), she finally gives up and give me a look as if to say, “I waved, Mama. I smiled, and I waved. Why the heck didn’t they wave back? What’s wrong with them?” I, of course, say aloud, “You’re right, Baby Girl. Yes, it’s very nice to wave and smile at people. It’s very nice to always say ‘Hello’,” in hopes of her not being dissuaded in the future.

Earlier today we went to a baby shower where Olive had never met anyone before. From the minute we walked in the door, she was instantly besties with everyone in the room. The more Olive smiled, waved and made silly faces, the more responses she got. This egged her on, and she became an even bigger ham.

This evening, we went out to Longhorn for dinner with the hubby’s grandfather. From Olive’s perspective, the entire restaurant was filled with people who it was her duty to say hello to and get a reciprocal smile from. Thankfully, we were surrounded by tables of very baby-friendly diners who enjoyed Olive’s company as much as she enjoyed theirs.

I feel proud each time Olive puts herself out there to make a new friend.

I think we’ve been blessed with an extremely pleasant child with an exceptionally positive disposition by nature, but I’d also like to think that some part of Olive’s extroverted, friendly personality is from the hubby and I leading by example.

What are some behaviors/lessons that you feel are most important that your children learn from you? Do you consciously teach these, or just try to show them in your daily life?

My Messy Neat-Freak

My little ladybug is so particular about some things and complete craziness when it comes to others.

As she Army crawls throughout our house, for example, she stops to pick up each and every speck of fuzz she finds along the way – things you would only spot if, like her, your eyes were but a few inches from the carpet.

She knows well enough now that she is not supposed to put anything she finds on the floor in her mouth. Instead, she proudly, excitedly squirms her way straight to Mama with the “ew, dirty trash” item secured in a death-pinch between her thumb and first finger. She waves it toward me until I take it (even when there’s nothing there), thanking her for her help. Olive then moves on to collect the next bit out of place. Honestly, if we owned a vacuum we would have no use for the little one – I kid.

She’s just as picky about anything she deems to be a mess on the tray of her highchair. The fact is, stuff gets on there. Between the crackers, cookies, bananas, green beans and various other finger foods she eats, there are going to be at least a few crumbs that happen upon the tray during each meal.

Waiting to clean the tray until after Olive’s done eating is not an option, at least not if I’d like to keep everything from ending up on the floor.

She’s great about declaring she’s done with something and that she wants it out of her way. She’ll wave, she’ll grunt, she’ll “Aaaahhhhhh.” If I catch on quick enough and ask, “All done? Give it to Mama if you’re all done,” Miss Olive will politely hand me whatever soggy bites she’s had enough of. But, if I’m not quick enough or if I DARE to just move the rejected items out of her reach she will either A) drop the rejected items over the table top to get them out of her way or B) lose all focus on finishing the rest of her meal until the unwanted parts are off her tray.

For all that cleaning, Olive has recently taken up a new habit – putting her very messy hands and any food she’s eating in her hair. I guess it shows that she likes to be tidy but not so much clean.

Olive sporting one of her 'dos after rubbing a Cheesy Carrot Wagon Wheel in her hair during dinner.

I’d prefer food get just about anywhere other than in her hair. At only nine months old, she’s still little, so we only takes a bath every couple days. Though I can wipe gunk out of her hair, it’s just not the same as washing it.

Try as I might to avoid goopy hair, she’s quick. She’s very quick. Much, much quicker than me. Babies have amazing speed, which is compounded by their distracting cuteness. One second I’m cheering her on as she takes a big bite of something new, and within the next second, Olivia’s swiped it from just above her eyebrow, across the top of her head, to all the way behind her ear, and back in her mouth again.

Bananas are the worst, followed closely by Gerber Arrowroot Cookies – two of Olive’s favorites. She enjoys eating and coating her hair in them much more than she enjoys me getting them out of her hair afterward.

I assume this is just one of the many exploratory phases of babydom.

Did your baby go through a “let’s see how this feels on my head” phase?

What are some of your least favorite baby messes to clean up?

Non-domestic Goddess

So, I’m working on perfecting the whole stay-at-home-mom thing. I’m still writing, but my main job for the last nine-and-a-half months has been Olivia’s Mommy.

The stay-at-home part is no joke. This means I feel much more responsible for the variety of other at-home tasks that need done during the day, including laundry, dishes and more. Just because I feel responsible for these things, doesn’t mean I’m successful at completing them.

I’ll note for anyone out there who has never attempted to work as a baby caregiver 24/7 – it is exhausting. Every job I’ve had has times that required a lot of extra hours. None of my previous jobs have been as exhausting – or as rewarding – as this.

Before having a baby, before getting married, before meeting the hubby, I declared to my mother and some friends that I was pretty sure I was never going to get married because I was embarrassingly non-domestic. Not that I had ever envisioned myself as a domestic-superstar, but during a particular cookie-making effort (during which I realized I didn’t own a lemon zester, nor did I even know what the heck one was), I came to the harsh realization that I would probably never make my way to a man’s heart through his stomach.

Don’t get me wrong, I can cook, but because of my stubbornly, structured brain, there has to be a plan. I like to have everything set out before I start. I like to have a recipe, just in case. These things just aren’t always realistic, so in my singleness, I was a big fan of instant and frozen items.

For Christmas after the cookie fiasco, I was gifted not one, but two lemon zesters. One month later, along came the hubby.

He loves to cook, and he is pretty darn great at it. He was not offended by my lack of domestic skill in the kitchen. It worked great, especially because I got home from my former job about an hour after him. We didn’t have to eat dinner really late just because I was home late.

Since Olive joined our lives, the hubby has continued cooking dinner (which I couldn’t be more thankful for), but today, he got called into work unexpectedly for about five hours.

So, with the babe by my side, tonight I made dinner! OK, so I realize this is not an amazing task for a great many people, but for this lady, it was a big accomplishment. Miss Olive was thankfully an angel. She sat with me snacking on butter braid pretzel sticks while Mama whipped up some mean Sloppy Joes – a meal I had never even eaten until about a year and a half ago.

Sloppy Joes might not be a five-star dinner, but they tasted good. And, the effort saved the hubby from having to cook a whole meal once he got home (though he admittedly did help finish up a side dish while I fed Olivia her dinner).

Former successes: Directing a community theater production – check. College degree – check. Established successful journalism/communications career – check. Led major successful fundraising campaign – check.

Today’s success: Tasty Sloppy Joes for dinner – check.

It’s the small accomplishments like this that I now take such great pride in. And I’m really happy with that.

Time Flies

Nine months ago today, Little Miss Olivia graced the world with her presence and change my life forever.

A week past my due date and two days of labor later, Olive came by way of a C-section (none of this was in my plan).

Olivia's first photo with Mommy and Daddy.

From the day she was born, it has been rare for her NOT to have an opinion on something. She had a distinct personality from day one. Strong willed, joyful, stubborn, silly, determined and loving.

About six months before getting pregnant with Olivia, I had gotten pregnant with another child but miscarried before making it to my second trimester.

To say I was devastated would be an enormous understatement. I was broken. There was nothing I could have done to prepare myself for the feeling of loss that took over every inch of my body.

Thank God for my husband, my family and my friends. But, most of all my husband. He was my rock, and through the next few tough months, he helped me heal. The miscarriage changed me for the worst, it made me a person I didn’t know and didn’t like. The support, humor, encouragement and love of the hubby was truly what got me back to myself.

The hubby and me.

Shortly after starting to feel like myself again, we found out I was pregnant. Along with the excitement came the fear of losing another baby. Because of that I cherished the vomiting, the aches, the big belly and the sleeplessness from a very active daughter who liked to run marathons at night. (I was however MORE THAN ready for her arrival when she finally made her debut).

Fast forward nine months, and I still almost can’t believe I’m blessed enough to have such a wonderful baby girl.

For every ornery, sassy moment, there have been so many more full of snuggles and wet baby kisses. For every fit, there have been so many more wonderful firsts – smiling, laughing, rolling, sitting, clapping, waving and so on. And for every night she’s barely slept a wink, there have been multiple nights I’ve gotten to watch her sleeping peacefully. Olivia has been and always will be my angel baby.

Happy three-quarters-of-a-year birthday to my little ladybug. Looking forward to what the next few months and lifetime have to bring.

Stuff. Lots and lots of stuff.

When I was prego, it was kind of cute that as the size of my belly grew, so did the amount of baby stuff added to our home.

The closer it got to baby-day, the harder it was to go into any store that sold anything and NOT buy something that I was sure my little bundle of joy couldn't possibly live without. Itsy bitsy pink shoes - check. Frilly socks - check. Miniature-sized hippie skirt - check. Diapers, wipes, furniture, bottles, ridiculous number of other baby necessities - check, check, double check.

In the almost nine months since little Miss Olive moved in, the stuff has continued to take over. From tummy time toys to crawling aids, a jumperoo and learn-to-walk assistants, our living room has become a virtual Toys R Us. We've added colorful baskets and bins and a bookcase to help contain the toy explosion, all of which have saved the hubby and myself from being buried alive.

Today, we made another move toward containing stuff that we anticipate will continue our way.

As it is, we have a tiny freezer - so tiny you can't even fit a family-size frozen pizza inside.

So today, we hit up Lowe's - where the baby girl was mesmerized by the massive number of ceiling fans - and I'm happy to say that come Sunday, we'll have an additional freezer/fridge for storage.

It's nothing fancy, but it will be such a huge help. (Our new fridge/freezer) Now that Olive is old enough to enjoy things like mini toaster waffles and (whether she enjoys it or not) eat cooked frozen veggies, it will be great to buy a few things when they're on sale and be able to keep them on hand when she wants them rather than feeling like I have to run to the grocery daily to pick up something to use right away. And I'm sure it will be more and more helpful as the little one moves into the world of chicken nuggets, and as more little ones join our family in the future.

Who knew a 9-month-old would inspire the purchase of a major kitchen appliance?

Our new fridge/freezer! I would not have guessed 10 years ago that I'd be THIS excited about the purchase of a Frigidaire from Lowe's. Reminds me of the Old School line about having a "pretty nice little Saturday" at Home Depot.

I’ve Become One of ‘Those People’

It’s true. I have, in fact, become one of “those people.” If I get really honest with myself, I probably fit into the category of “those people” for a multitude of reasons these days:

- I can’t get through a conversation without talking about my baby.
- I get really excited about Inside Edition, though I don’t yet refer to it as “the news.”
- I’ve become obsessed with coupons, to the point that I carry around a mini expand file with categorized coupon compartments.

Don’t judge. And if you know me really well, please don’t add to my list … I don’t doubt that it could go on and on. It happens to the best of us, I’m sure.

That said – today, I was not only one of “those people,” but I more specifically became “that person.”

It all started when a friend of mine mentioned the Krazy Coupon Lady in a Facebook message, and then I saw said Krazy Lady on The Early Show the next morning. If you haven’t seen her or her Web site, I suggest checking it out (www.krazycouponlady.com).

Though some of her concepts are a little hardcore for me (I’m not about to buy six Sunday paper subscriptions just to have multiple coupon inserts), others seemed like they might be worth a shot. So, this week, I started to try my hand at combining coupons with sales, doubling up where I was allowed and making the most of what is now a much tighter budget for our one-and-a-half income lifestyle.

I was proud of my wheeling and dealing on Gerber baby food at Meijer. And, I felt super saving savvy when I dropped my 30 percent-off Kohl’s coupon on already deeply discounted items to help save on holiday shopping.

But, my crowning glory came today on my trip to Crafts2000. For my husband’s family Thanksgiving, which is a potluck-style dinner, I was asked to make a variety of chocolate treats – fancied up chocolate covered Oreos, pretzels, cookies and more. In preparation, I had already bought a few things on sale during my normal weekly grocery trip. But after finding a “$1 off the purchase of any items $1 or more” coupon on the Crafts2000 Web site (www.crafts2000online.com – check out the second to last page of the circular), I decided I would get most of the chocolate, molds, super-sized marshmallows and other goodies there.

The kicker – which still makes me giddy, like Christmas came early – is that you could use “one coupon per transaction per day.” Here’s where I became “that person.” Before leaving home, I printed 20 of the $1 off coupons.

After filling my cart with 20 items I needed – only one of which was over $2 – I headed to the open check out lane at the customer service counter, figuring that register worker might resent me least. Thankfully for little Miss. Olivia’s sake, she’s still too young at 6 months old to roll her eyes or be outrageously embarrassed by her mother.

As I piled everything on the counter, I explained my plan, apologized to the woman in line behind me and kept my courage up repeating the Krazy Coupon Lady’s book title over and over again in my head (Pick Another Checkout Lane, Honey).

The cashier rang each item up separately so that I could use a coupon on each – even making some things, dare I say it, FREE!

I left the store at a brisk pace and tried to restrain my urge to skip to my car – after all, I was already “that person” once today.

Christmas in October

For the most part, I’ve always been against shopping for Christmas at least until after Halloween. I’m one of those people who give a disapproving head shake in stores when plastic pumpkin candy buckets are lined up next to light up yard snowmen.

But this year, something has taken over. Her name is Olivia.

I’ve reverted back to an age where I believed in Santa, and I was ready as soon as the Fourth of July was over to start a list of toys I hoped he’d deliver.

This will be Olivia’s first Christmas, and she’ll be just a couple days over seven months old when the holiday falls. She’s mastered laughing, looks intently and curiously at everything around her and grabs anything within her reach.

What’s more, the best toy anyone could possibly give her is paper – especially shiny, glittered, super-crinkly, bright red paper.

I already have a head full of images of her sitting on the floor between my husband and me next to the Christmas tree as the little white twinkle lights shine. She’ll have no idea who Santa is, nor will she care that a few extra special gifts will be marked from him in my best Santa handwriting.

I can’t wait to see her tear the paper off and – after I’ve taken the paper away so she doesn’t try to eat it – give a little Olive giggle about the new toy wrapped inside.

Halloween doesn’t fall until tomorrow, but I’m pretty well done with Christmas shopping for my little ladybug – minus only the spur-of-the-moment things I’ll find over the next couple months. She’s even set with an adorable Christmas dress already. OK, so maybe she has two adorable Christmas dresses, but trust me, she needs them both.

She’s not even old enough to sit up on her own yet, so I know logically that she won’t remember this Christmas. That said, I know it will be one of the many that I’ll never forget.

Red Eye

Can repeated camera flashes permanently damage a baby’s eyes? I sure hope not. If they can, my camera breaking gave Olivia about a month of safety, but now, trouble is once again on the horizon.

The lens on the camera my husband got me less than three years ago got stuck in the out position just before I could snap a shot of one of my nieces crossing the finish line at a cross country meet about a month ago. I was sad that I didn’t get the perfect picture of her I’d set myself up for. I was disheartened when pushing the power button repeatedly a few hundred times – which worked in the past – did nothing but cause me additional frustration.

Since Olivia’s birth, I’ve been slightly obsessed with taking many – as in sometimes 40 or so – photos of her daily. I’m pretty sure I’ve almost gotten in the shower once or twice with the camera still wrapped around my wrist. I need help.

After a week of trying to fix the camera, I took it to a local camera shop in hopes they could give me an easy fix. To my dismay, the store owner said the best he could do was sent the camera in to Canon (please note that I no longer recommend anyone purchase a Canon camera), but that I’d save money by just buying a new camera. He then said, “If it were me, and I was at the end of the road with a camera, I’d hit it a few times before buying a new one. It can’t hurt at this point – but I won’t do it for you.” I left the store with little hope.

When I got in my car, I took his advice, used all my strength to shove the lens back in the camera and held my breath as I hit Power again. “Lens error. Restart camera,” it taunted me for the 500^th time. Worthless piece of crap camera.

On my birthday I ordered a new, pink, pocket-sized Sony Cyber-shot camera from Best Buy after explaining to the sales clerk that the most important feature in my choice of new camera would be shutter speed. I pointed to my lovely, smiling Olivia saying, “I can’t miss catching any more of her smiles.”

Two weeks later I had – not the camera I ordered because of who knows what happened with my order – a new, black, pocket-sized camera and I’ve been back to my click-crazy self. I can’t get enough of recording every precious moment of Olivia’s life – her smiles, her milestones, her curious looks as she learns something new, her sleep and general enthusiasm for life. I’m hoping camera flashes can’t do any permanent damage because I don’t foresee my addition to my daughter’s cuteness dying down any time soon.