Finding My Balance

When I left my full-time job a few years ago, I looked forward to the balance I thought I would find in my life. I had a vision of how I would have less stress about keeping the house clean and tidy all the time.

Fast forward to a land without cleaning fairies and unicorns of timeliness. Fast forward to a land of reality.

A short time into my new "job" of motherhood, I realized that finding balance is a struggle no matter what job you have or role you play. Once kids are added to the mix, there's a never ending supply of dishes and laundry that need washing and putting away. The floors always need a vacuum run over them because of the piles of crumbs that magically fall off kids as they walk through the house - even when there's no food in sight. There are always toys to pick up.

There's always a kids who needs a drink, or a snack, or a diaper change, or a potty break, or a toy that's out of reach, or sticky face cleaned.

There's also the moment - usually about 2 p.m. - where I realize that I've forgotten to eat or drink anything yet that day. Then there's bills and work (at home and usually at night, but it's still there).

Of course, in the midst of all this is the fun of actually being with the kids. Seeing my girls through all their milestones so far has been far more rewarding than anything else I've experienced in life. Having the opportunity to put Play-Doh before a PowerPoint was a good call. It works for us.

But, finding the balance between all the must-dos of childcare and home maintenance and the fun playtime and learning opportunities is still a struggle. If I had my way, I'd spend all day playing with the girls, planning fun learning activities and making all sorts of crafts. If I did what I knew "needed" to be done, I'd have a super clean house, but I'd feel guilty all the time for never spending the time with my girls that they deserve.

I know if these are the worst of our problems, I should be thankful. I know that "there will be time to clean later." But, sometimes it would just be nice to feel like there is time in the day to be a fun, attentive mother and a super duper housekeeper. There are days I feel like I've got it down, but there are days where I also feel like I'm being pulled 100 directions. Such is life and motherhood, I guess?

For those of you who have done this Mom thing longer than me - whether you work inside your home, outside your home or your kids are your work - please feel free to share your insighst here.  Any tips or tricks you have to finding the balance between "must-do" things and fun/learning kid time would be great to try.

Back in the Swing of Things

For the past two years, one of the freelance jobs I've had has kept me locked to my computer for three hours every weeknight as I would edit content for the website of a company that reports on international telecommunications news. Sound thrilling, right?

It was a good job, working with people who I liked, albeit never actually met in person because none of the people I worked with were even in the same state as me. Most weren't even in the same time zone. Long story short, the company is being bought out by another company and in two weeks, they will no longer need my services.

No hard feelings. This is an "it is what it is" situation. To be honest, The Hubby and I have talked for a long, long time about how much easier out lives would be if I could cut the cord with this job. No more rushing the kids to bed before I had to sign on for my shift. No more worries about scurrying through a dinner out on a weeknight. No more Fridays trapped at home unless we'd planned far enough ahead for me to change my shift.

It's been hard to give up the prime kids-are-asleep hours when I could be doing laundry or dishes or just general picking up around the house and at the computer for a fixed set of hours instead, but it was income that helped make things flow well around here, so I stuck it out.

And now, the decision has been made for me. Though I'm admittedly a little nervous about the change, I a so very excited to have my time back. I feel like I'm being set free from something I might not have had the guts to walk away from otherwise.

Here's what I'm already looking forward to:

• An upcoming adult dinner that I won't have to beg a night off to attend
• No rushing through the bedtime routine. I like the one-on-one time with each of my girls at bedtime, and now there's won't be a specific time limit on it.
• Going out to a dinner on a weeknight at a time later than 5:15 p.m. 
• Chores. I am looking very forward to having time to do dishes, fold laundry, mop the floor and any number of other mundane chores in peace while the kids are sleeping 
• And most of all ... finding time to snuggle up on the couch next to The Hubby and do the USA Today crossword online. We used to always do this. We both enjoyed it, and it's hardly happened at all in the past two years. I can't wait to get back to this - it was always a few minutes of the day I really looked forward to and have missed.

Here's to an upcoming influx of time!